1 Apr | Your light has come

Here comes April… beginning my third month in Phnom Penh now!

Two main things I’ve been doing at “Daughters of Cambodia” are graphic design and art therapy.

I love to dream and imagine so I’ve had many ‘ideas’ in my mind about what living and working in Phnom Penh would be like. I am not surprised that I’m doing graphic design and art therapy, but the ways in which I’m doing them, are beyond my wildest imagination…

Graphic design-

I have always loved greeting cards design… but never got to do it in my previous design jobs. And I never thought I would still have opportunities to do it, as I’ve already ‘left’ the design field. BUT God is so amazing. He knows me inside out. I am not even pursuing a design career anymore, but this opportunity to design Easter cards just came as my first assignment at “Daughters”… what can I say but “thank you Jesus, you are so amazing”?!

Easter products being displayed in Daughters’ wonderful boutique

Easter cards bringing message of HOPE and LIFE.

 

Art therapy-

In September last year, I finished my training as a Master in Integrated Psychotherapy. The year before, I did Integrative Arts Psychotherapy. If you’ve known me for more than 5 years, you probably know that I have a fear of psychology. It sounds really funny now, but it’s true. I struggled SO MUCH during my Bachelor degree. Psychology was a nightmare and torture for me. I was such a bad student… So, it is nothing less than a MIRACLE, by the grace and power of my Lord Jesus, that I have these qualifications now.

the beautiful London School of Theology where I did the MA (this was Jan 2013)

Before I embarked on this journey of psychotherapeutic studies, I was a graphic designer in London, who did kind of like my job, but was not satisfied. I knew that Jesus had more in store for me. Life should be much more meaningful, glorious and exciting than it was.

I have always known what I wanted to do when I get qualified as a therapist. Simply put – I wanted to share love and hope to the broken, in whatever shapes or forms necessary / helpful / suitable. Whether it be in London, Hong Kong, or wherever else in the world – if it is where Jesus leads me to, I’ll go.

My professional experience before coming to Phnom Penh has been mainly working one-on-one with children who are challenged emotionally, socially and relationally. I was a trainee therapist in a primary school in west London for a year… I’m very grateful for that experience and it did build me up professionally and personally, but what I’m doing now is nothing like anything I’ve done before…

 

art therapy is carried out in this room

At “Daughters”, I now deliver art therapy to groups of around 10 men and women, 3 times a week. The number of clients is massive. Really really massive. Although it was very overwhelming for me to start with, it is a really wonderful thing that so many precious men and women have come to “Daughters”, and are now in the process of leaving sex work and having their lives transformed.

our treasures! simple materials, but can be used powerfully…

I could write paragraphs after paragraphs about how art therapy has benefited the clients so far. In just 4 weeks, God has already graciously used me to bring light and hope to our beloved clients. I will share one encouraging story here.

There’s a lady who came to the first session 4 weeks ago. When I first met her, she looked really downcast and discouraged. There were many problems in her life, as she articulated. However, right from the start, I noticed that she was able to connect with art materials quite well. Although she was feeling low, I observed that art was a really useful language to help her express herself.

She has progressed a lot in terms of being confident in opening up herself and being willing to take risks in art making. Last week, in our 3rd session, she was beaming with huge smiles the whole time. I was really amazed and wondered what was going on in her :)

Near the end of the session, she voluntarily shared this to the whole group: (translated) “Before I came to art therapy, I had many problems. I was so sad. Now I still have many problems, but when I come into this room, I feel a different presence. I can listen to the music, I can do some dance movements, I can paint, I can create, I can feel the love of God!” :)

I was so so so encouraged by that… and was humbled by the powerful presence of God in the room. I do seek to do my best each time, but I know that I can do nothing without Jesus. The most powerful ‘thing’ at work is not me, but Jesus, who lives in me. The room is filled with love, joy and peace because of Him! It’s so evident!

It takes more than mere human love to cause life transformations.

It takes more than mere human kindness to bind up the deep wounds of life.

It takes more than mere human strength to set captives free.

 

The lady that I talked about is one of MANY. Many are still awaiting that first hope. That first touch of love, dignity, respect, kindness, compassion.

I pray, and I hope, and I know, that there will be more and more encounters like this.

As rainy season is approaching… clouds are starting to build up these days. The sky is painted with sumptuous red, pink, orange, yellow and blue during sunsets.

I didn’t realize how much I miss a beautiful sunset… until I saw it again a couple of days ago.

Gazing at this, these scriptures came to my mind…

“Arise, shine, for your light has come,
    and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.
See, darkness covers the earth
    and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the Lord rises upon you
    and his glory appears over you.“

– Isaiah 60:1-3

To support “Daughters” please visit www.daughtersofcambodia.org and www.facebook.com/DaughtersofCambodia. Thanks! :)

 

11 Mar | Time is a strange thing

I don’t really understand how it’s already been a month since I last blogged… how did that happen?!

Tonight I’m looking at some pictures of the training phase in Bangkok which I’ve only recently received, and I think, “oh, those were the times… such fond memories… :)”

But then I thought, “Wait! That was January 2014! It’s less than 2 months ago! How does that feel like something so distant in history?”

class discussion @ ISM Bangkok

serving children @ Life Centre church Bangkok

football at lunch break @ ISM Bangkok :)

And I’m getting really used to the way of life in Phnom Penh now – so used to it that I’m starting to think that I would have cultural shock when I re-enter any places of less than 30C, places without constant sunshine and places where most people travel in vehicles with doors!

this is 5 mins away from where I live now

I’m amazed each time I look at the calendar…

“Ok, it’s February now.”

“Ok it’s March now.”

“What? It’s March already????”

“What? it’s only March????”

Have you ever been in that place where you think you’ve been somewhere for ages, and yet it feels like such a short period of time?! I don’t quite understand how the human mind is capable of such a contradictory / funny juxtaposition of feelings…

Time is an absolute thing, yes, but how we perceive it is definitely subjective.

When you so so so look forward to something, time seems to stretch itself and take it easy…

When you are so so so nervous that something is coming up soon, time seems to take a big leap from ‘then’ to ‘now’ in the blink of an eye.

Time is an interesting thing.

“Time will tell”

“Time can prove”

“Time can heal”

“Time will pass”

“Time will come”

Time is very fair. Time never lies. It is what it is.

Time can do a lot of things. But it cannot un-do things.

Through working at ‘Daughters of Cambodia’, I have been learning more about the reality of pain, suffering and brokenness in life. For people who have gone through enormous pains, they often wish that things had never happened, or that they could delete some parts of their history somehow.

We could un-do many things in our computers; but in life, there has never been a ‘re-format’ option. Emotional and physical scars do remain with us.

Do I also wish that some things had never happened in my life? Are there dirty stains that I wish had never been there? Yes.

But when I met Jesus, I was instilled with a profound truth and hope that nothing is ever wasted in God’s eyes. Not even wounds. Not even wrongs. Not even regrets.

In HIM, all things become new. I, become new.

No, Jesus doesn’t delete my past. He doesn’t wipe clean my history. He could if He would, but that’s not the way He is.

Instead, He takes everything in my ‘trash’ and pushed the glorious ‘re-start’ button. He transforms all my trash into beauty. He did it on the first day I met Him, and He’s still doing it everyday. :)

a quick artwork I recently created during a Christian art gathering – inspired by Hillsong’s “Glorious Ruins” – “let the ruins come to life, in the beauty of Your name. Rising up from the ashes, God forever You reign.”

God is patient with us, because He is not bound by time. He created time.

But He makes use of time; to heal, to grow, to love.

He is above time. But He is not unreachably transcendent. For those who knows, He is right here, right now.

I used to really dislike time; cos I could never get enough of it… But now I’m starting to appreciate it. I’m thankful for every new day God grants me to live.

No one has ever been able to work out or have control over how long one would live. But for everyday we have, we can always decide to live it thankfully, and live it well.

I am an ordinary person, having 24 hours a day just like you… bound by time and have absolutely no control over how ‘quickly’ or how ‘slowly’ it goes. The only difference might be that I live 24 hours a day with a God who loves me for eternity. “He loves me with an everlasting love“, is how the Bible puts it. :)

Otres Beach 1, 230km from Phnom Penh

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. (Ecclesiastes 3:11-13)

10 Feb | Amazed

Hello! Soo’sday! :)

10 days in, and I have just had my first proper Khmer (the Cambodian language) lesson tonight!

Before then, I have only been able to say “go straight”, “turn right”, “turn left”, “stop here” and “thank you”. It’s for survival you see. This is how I direct a motorbike driver to get me home. :)

After the lesson, my flatmate Sarah and I were both a bit like “oh dear…”. Surely some hard work awaits. But, being hopeful I thought: one day, we could just casually chat in Khmer with each other at home… one day… :)

Sarah – coming back from our first major shopping trip – getting bins and fans :P

This video is a snap shot of our first journey from home to our workplace… (although we take motorbikes now cos it’s cheaper and quicker!).

5 things in Phnom Penh that amaze me:

(*this is just my view based on personal experiences. I’m sure if you asked a tourist or a local person here, they would tell you different things about the city!)

1. The traffic – messy but friendly

As you can see in the video – the trucks, the cars, the tuk-tuks, the motorbikes, the bicycles, the pedestrians – EVERYBODY – are ONE. Everybody is welcome on the same road – even on the ‘wrong’ side of the road. In fact, it’s hard to tell which is the ‘wrong side of the road’! :)

I am very amazed by how much people have a deep, hidden understanding of each other. No words, no signals, no sounds – but everyone seems to find their spot and everyone is quite happy with each other. Such harmony amongst chaos is nothing I have ever seen before! If you’ve ever been on a busy MTR or Underground train and could feel the warmth of the breath or the body temperate of the people surrounding you – that’s how I feel when there’s a traffic jam here. It is that same ‘intimacy’ of zero distance – only that we’ve got vehicles slightly separating us. :)

2. Children at risk

The amount of street children wandering in the streets is appalling… I am amazed by how resilient these littles lives are… heartbreakingly, they do survive in such adverse ‘living’ conditions. The scene of a toddler, naked, sleeping on a pavement; or a 3-year old boy standing in the middle of traffic, cleaning people’s cars and asking for money; or a 5-year old girl waiting for food at a shop’s front door, is sadly, not too uncommon. These children are extremely vulnerable to exploitation… I had heard that this country is one of the worst places in the world regarding the problem of child sex-trafficking. Once I got here and saw the streets, it didn’t take long for me to realize why… :(

3. ‘Solar power water’

So, I have been having cold showers. Not that it is that hot… but I figured that ‘hot water never works in the evening’. On the first day, we called the housekeeper to come and test the water for us. The tap had gone on for ages and there was no sign of warm water. She looked like there would be hot water if we just waited enough… so we waited and waited… but after about 15 mins she said, “Solar. Solar power. Sun, hot water. No sun, no hot water.”

It took me a few days to realize… actually ‘solar power water’ means – when the sun is out and it’s hot, the pipes probably get heated up and thus you get hot water. So during the night, obviously, there is no ‘solar’, and no hot water!! Hahaha… :D

I am amazed by how physically tough and persevering people here must be. A month ago, it was freezing in Bangkok (and over here too). It was the coldest winter in 20-30 years. On some days, it was below 15C and it’s considered super cold here! It was cold for me! I cannot imagine taking a freezing shower in freezing weather… but most people do, most people have to, in Cambodia.

4. 30% sugar low ice bubble tea

When we were in Bangkok last month, bubble tea was one of my most favourite treats. :) However, they were often very sweet and come with lots of ice. One of us girls once confidently ordered a bubble tea with her recently learnt Thai, saying, “less sugar and less ice”, but it turned out to be a green coloured drink that tasted like nothing we had ever tasted… >_< so… I never wanted to repeat that for myself…

But on Saturday when Sarah and I were walking around the city in the heat of the day, we bumped into this amazing bubble tea place with an extraordinary menu!!! The heart that they put into producing all those options is absolutely adorable. I got my 30% sugar low ice bubble tea and it tasted perfect! :)

5. The excellence of Daughters

It is a great privilege to serve in “Daughters of Cambodia” in these 6 months. However much I had read about them from their website before I came here, it could not be compared to the amazement of actually witnessing how they work so excellently in offering a choice / a hope / a future to men and women who have been trapped in the sex trade. Once they come to “Daughters” (or, for trans-sexual sex workers, they go to “Sons of Cambodia”), they become their ‘clients’, and they get to work in one of their 4 locations across Phnom Penh.

Working at Daughters has been amazing so far. I cannot actually believe that I’ve only been in Phnom Penh for 10 days. So much has been experienced, and I’m absorbing everything in the culture vigorously day after day. I would be lying if I said ‘it has been easy’. But in truth, it has been very good. :)

The cry of the hurting is silent, yet loud – for ears that hear;

The sight of the suffering is hidden, yet obvious – for eyes that see.

Does this sound familiar to you?

What would you do in a city such as this?

Phnom Penh is amazing to me, not because of anything particularly stunning that I have seen or experienced – but because I’m learning about a people that God has wonderfully created. Having been mistaken as a Khmer person by Khmer people for a few times… :) I’m hoping that I would learn the language well, and get to know these precious people as best as I can.

It is an interesting city. It is a complicated city. It has lots of brokenness. But no brokenness is too severe that it cannot be mended by our wonderful Creator.

I’m longing for Jesus to show me, that His love does not vary from place to place. His love is constantly strong and powerful – wherever it is, whenever it is, for whoever it is. This I know with all my heart, but I long to SEE it and TASTE it HERE.

There is hope, there is love, there is light –
even in the darkest and filthiest places in the world or in the human heart.

This is why He came to the world, for us.

This is why many have come to Phnom Penh, for Him.

“In him (Jesus) was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can not overcome it. (John 1:4-5)

products all hand-made by clients of Daughters and Sons

“Sugar n Spice” garden cafe – served by clients of Daughters

“White Linen” boutique hotel – served by clients of Daughters

operation centre – where I am based

3 Jan | Today

I had dinner with my family and 3 of my best friends tonight. After dinner, Winter played a song with the guitar. It was called “Today”. The TV was noisy and people were chatting, I don’t know if anybody else noticed it… but that song that she played for 10 seconds tonight, is still lingering in my mind right now. :)

“Today”.

I have been asked, in the past month in Hong Kong, again and again, “when are you leaving”? And before I left London last month, I was also asked again and again, “when are you leaving?” I never get tired of answering such question, for I see each person’s asking of it as a gesture of care, which I honestly treasure dearly. However, after having given my dear friends and family a numerical date for endless times…… I’m really glad to finally say: TODAY. Yes I’m leaving today!!!!!!

Mantanani Island, Malaysia

So how do I feel? It is really mixed. But I feel a bit like the picture above.

I have been treading along the beach for quite some time. I have examined the coast line, I have tested the water with my feet, I have gazed upon the horizon, I have lied down on the sand, I have picked up some pebbles, I have felt the warm breeze, I have soaked in the blazing sun, I have tasted the saltiness of the water a bit, I have been training up myself in different dimensions to be ‘fit for the journey’.

I have been LONGING to immerse myself into the ocean, to swim outside, to find the treasures that God has prepared for me.

4 months ago I was in a beach in Barcelona. I think it was my first time swimming in the Mediterranean Sea. The water was amazingly warm, and the waves were quite fierce even in shallow waters. I had been swimming along the waves, for it saves me energy. However, when my friends called me to go another direction, I had to swim against the tides. It was almost impossible! I tried my hardest and still I was going nowhere. The waves came straight at my face again and again and I found myself battling against the force of the ocean! It was really tiring… >_<

Beach Castelldefels. See that tiny head in the sea… that’s me haha

Then it was as if God was saying to me – it is hard to go against the will of the Creator of the Universe. :) Life is hard when we don’t agree with God. Right then and there, I prayed something like this: Lord, help me to always know your heart. I never want to swim against your will. I want to be carried by waves of your grace. The ocean is yours. And everything in it. I am yours. And everything I have. Help me ‘swim’ my life well. First, help me KNOW YOU. Help me discern how the tides are going…

Now, THANKS to my beloveds who spent time with me in the past month… whether it be minutes, hours or days… **you know who you are** :))) thank you for blessing me with your support, care and encouragement!!

So, with all the love from my dear family and friends, and the promise of the presence of my Lord Jesus in all circumstances, I am ‘geared up’. I will go. And by God’s mercy, I will accept thankfully whatever is set before me.

Kristol: thanks for your under-water camera!

There is a cost for everything. My friends, I’m not sure how you perceive ‘what’ I’m trying to do in Cambodia, and ‘why’ I want to do it… As a flawed person marked with different weaknesses, I know full well that my ability and strength are limited. And there are definitely risks and costs involved. However, my ‘what’ and ‘why’ are based on 2 very simple things.

1. Every lost treasure (person) is worth seeking.

2. Jesus loves me. He picked me up like a precious pearl when I was hidden in the darkness of the deep ocean. And He tells me that the way to ‘love Him back’ is to love another person. :)

And so, I go.

This is the first ever living starfish that I have ever touched… As I look at it again, I see the mystery of Jesus’ love… He loves me like I am the ONLY starfish in the whole wide ocean. Yet, at the same time, He is also able to love every other starfish (and it could be you!) with this same vastness and intensity of love. :)