3 Jan | Today

I had dinner with my family and 3 of my best friends tonight. After dinner, Winter played a song with the guitar. It was called “Today”. The TV was noisy and people were chatting, I don’t know if anybody else noticed it… but that song that she played for 10 seconds tonight, is still lingering in my mind right now. :)

“Today”.

I have been asked, in the past month in Hong Kong, again and again, “when are you leaving”? And before I left London last month, I was also asked again and again, “when are you leaving?” I never get tired of answering such question, for I see each person’s asking of it as a gesture of care, which I honestly treasure dearly. However, after having given my dear friends and family a numerical date for endless times…… I’m really glad to finally say: TODAY. Yes I’m leaving today!!!!!!

Mantanani Island, Malaysia

So how do I feel? It is really mixed. But I feel a bit like the picture above.

I have been treading along the beach for quite some time. I have examined the coast line, I have tested the water with my feet, I have gazed upon the horizon, I have lied down on the sand, I have picked up some pebbles, I have felt the warm breeze, I have soaked in the blazing sun, I have tasted the saltiness of the water a bit, I have been training up myself in different dimensions to be ‘fit for the journey’.

I have been LONGING to immerse myself into the ocean, to swim outside, to find the treasures that God has prepared for me.

4 months ago I was in a beach in Barcelona. I think it was my first time swimming in the Mediterranean Sea. The water was amazingly warm, and the waves were quite fierce even in shallow waters. I had been swimming along the waves, for it saves me energy. However, when my friends called me to go another direction, I had to swim against the tides. It was almost impossible! I tried my hardest and still I was going nowhere. The waves came straight at my face again and again and I found myself battling against the force of the ocean! It was really tiring… >_<

Beach Castelldefels. See that tiny head in the sea… that’s me haha

Then it was as if God was saying to me – it is hard to go against the will of the Creator of the Universe. :) Life is hard when we don’t agree with God. Right then and there, I prayed something like this: Lord, help me to always know your heart. I never want to swim against your will. I want to be carried by waves of your grace. The ocean is yours. And everything in it. I am yours. And everything I have. Help me ‘swim’ my life well. First, help me KNOW YOU. Help me discern how the tides are going…

Now, THANKS to my beloveds who spent time with me in the past month… whether it be minutes, hours or days… **you know who you are** :))) thank you for blessing me with your support, care and encouragement!!

So, with all the love from my dear family and friends, and the promise of the presence of my Lord Jesus in all circumstances, I am ‘geared up’. I will go. And by God’s mercy, I will accept thankfully whatever is set before me.

Kristol: thanks for your under-water camera!

There is a cost for everything. My friends, I’m not sure how you perceive ‘what’ I’m trying to do in Cambodia, and ‘why’ I want to do it… As a flawed person marked with different weaknesses, I know full well that my ability and strength are limited. And there are definitely risks and costs involved. However, my ‘what’ and ‘why’ are based on 2 very simple things.

1. Every lost treasure (person) is worth seeking.

2. Jesus loves me. He picked me up like a precious pearl when I was hidden in the darkness of the deep ocean. And He tells me that the way to ‘love Him back’ is to love another person. :)

And so, I go.

This is the first ever living starfish that I have ever touched… As I look at it again, I see the mystery of Jesus’ love… He loves me like I am the ONLY starfish in the whole wide ocean. Yet, at the same time, He is also able to love every other starfish (and it could be you!) with this same vastness and intensity of love. :)